Friday, November 9, 2001 04:31 a.m.

today was incredibly happy^__^
first, i slept for 3 1/2 hrs because i needed to do something for school, which i *naturally* left to the last possible moment. but no matter.
i got it done, and i was *not* sleepy. in fact i remained hyper all day, and thursdays usually drag me down with too much school.

then shelly came~!!! and brought sushi~~!!!! and tools to put my furniture together~~~!!!!!!!
we actually got it all done. she used power drills and shit. i'm so impressed^__^
it's nearing morning. shelly left an hour ago. i'm still not sleepy.
happy day^___^*

Tuesday, November 6, 2001 11:49 p.m.

some muscles on the left side of my back hurt. i'm tense and probably sitting wrong when i watch tv or something. i should stretch.
instead i've microwaved me a hotpack, popped a knockout pill, and am off to the happy land of the drugged and lazy@_@

fishie comes tomorrow. we will build me some furniture^___^

and i'm ashamed to admit that i totally forgot my lust for vicious ling. that is, until i saw her on tv yesterday. in robes. purple robes. mmm...

Sunday, November 4, 2001 04:13 p.m.

WAAAAAAIIIIII~!!!!!!!!
great layout, esca~!! i burn in envy.
would you like to *see* me burn in envy? i'll give you a show if you come over^__^
against my better judgment (the one concerned with me actually graduating school) i too have been sucked into naruto. i would just like to say, meta, that this is all your fault and that i'll expect you to support me when i drop out. and since i'll have to support esca when *she* drops out, this luring of innocents into ever-new obsessions will cost you greatly...

well, my dad and bro didn't come today with tools to help me put up furniture because dad managed to hurt his leg, and the boy pretends to fear one-way streets. so i have nothing to do.
i think i'll force myself to sleep again so i don't have to study.

Monday, October 29, 2001 06:38 p.m.

funny conversation in school today. we were talking about all the wonderful things that came out of u of t med, and we wondered about our own mighty school.
1st classmate: did *anything* come out of mac med?
2nd classmate: problem-based learning.
1st classmate: did anything *good* come out of mac med?
me: ^___^*

very...uhhh...informative post, esca.

Monday, October 29, 2001 12:24 p.m.

^____^ got inu vol 1&2 today. happy. store ordered the rest for me. happy and impatient to have it all^^

damn. wish i had something to make you jealous, esca. but...i didn't sleep much this weekend. i was tired and had hardly eaten anything all day before pokemark's party, and then i had a couple drinks...and some 10 jell-o shooters^_~ and just...slept.
such a lost opportunity^^ pokemark actually gave us his bed and slept on the couch. such a nice host. and we just...sleptT_T

Thursday, October 25, 2001 07:09 p.m.

i'm chock-full of yummy flu vaccine. wonder if i can induce symptoms psychosomatically?

tomorrow i have to journey to the far land of london (ont) to sort out my $$$ issues. called today. they asked me what i expect from them. well...*money*. that's pretty much it^_^

heh. i'll be going to pokemark's halloween party this weekend and crashing there for the night. a chick i kinda dated will be doing the same. pokemark asked if we want a room^_~*
yes, esca, i relayed various death threats. but...it's not like you'll actually come over to *exact* them, right?

Tuesday, October 23, 2001 05:37 p.m.

my computer was acting very slow...and the service support people didn't seem to know what was wrong. it made me feel incredibly disconnected. not to mention angry - *how* much am i paying for quick access again? right.
but now it seems back to normal. *hope*

i almost managed to get esca to visit, but she found an excuse again. damn she's good ^_^

i spend a lot of time with my mom this weekend talking about dad. he's petty and infantile and has always taken her for granted. i'm glad mom can talk to me about it. i also wish she could be happier, even if it meant divorce, only she probably won't do that. she feels too responsible for all of us. but she's getting zero support in her life from him. i love my father, but at the same time i wish mom were free of him.

Friday, October 19, 2001 04:37 p.m.

*sigh* my comms preceptor send me away today because i wasn't prepared for my eval - i kinda forgot to fill in my sheet^_~ she said she was disappointed i didn't take comms skills seriously.
which is true. how can i take it seriously with people watching me through one-way mirrors? it's so incredibly contrived.

i console myself with my addiction^^ fishie took me to pacific mall a few days back, and i got 2 saiyuki wallscrolls and a poster, and 3 inu-yasha posters *drool*
and i got morpheus like meta said, and managed to download inu eps 31, 41 and 43. now i'll be going crazy forcing myself not to watch them til i have all the ones between...
worse, i have to stop all computer activities because i'm going home for the weekendT_T nooo...computer...i'll miss youT_T

Monday, October 15, 2001 02:38 p.m.

finally - i'm finally enrolled in reg force. once i got through the mistakes t.o. send on my papers - i'm apparently married, with a master's from u of t, i swear those people are all on CRACK - i signed and left the cfrc grinning like the idiot that i most likely am^___^
so no matter my frustrations and endless whining, i suppose that's what i really did want to do with my life, and i'm soooo relieved it's all sorted out *whew*

we also had our tutorial midterm eval thing today. it consisted of - and i'm not joking - 3 hrs of verbally evaluating each other and our tutor personally, the group, the tutorial, and ourselves. our group has 6 people and the tutor. it took a full 3 hrs. these people *can't* *shut* *up*~!!!!
ok, so i liked my evals and felt obscurely vindicated somehow.
they still can't shut up.

Sunday, October 14, 2001 05:19 p.m.

esca, of course you can be our glorious leader. we will worship you and you will translate manga for us all.
in fact, that's *why* we'll worship you. fishie will make you a crown with her awesome jewelry expertise.
which reminds me, check out her website~!! isn't it great? i wish i could make stuff like that...i wish i could do a lot of stuff, actually. i suckT_T

if you come live here, you can *have* my pentium IV *flutter eyelashes*

Sunday, October 14, 2001 11:38 a.m.

esca , i love the new layout~!! i *knew* you were up to something on-line last night.
*sob* after all, you ignored my messagesT_T

i'm bored and lonely. and icq'ing with fishie, who's irrepressibly hyper and enthusiastic as always. why can't i be like that?

Friday, October 12, 2001 04:25 p.m.

ummm...i think the army issue will be resolved this mon. the co from t.o. will come up here to enrol me or something.
i was ready to end all this today. i'd gotten to the point where i just wanted it resolved in any way possible as long as it was immediately, and if that meant dropping the application i was willing to do that. but ottawa guy asked t.o. guy to call, and it'll be done mon.
except afterwards t.o. guy apparently called ottawa guy to complain about my "attitude" on the phone^_- and i got a call from ottawa guy, and a nice speech about how he realizes i'm frustrated, but i'm just a lowly rank and t.o. guy's a co, and there'll be many more times i'll be frustrated but i shouldn't give my superiors attitude, etc.
it was kinda funny. i wasn't rude, i probably just sounded like i didn't care that he had to come all this way to enrol me. and i don't. his staff had me drag *my* ass to t.o. for nothing more than once. and i don't think anyone realizes just *how* frustrated and disappointed i am with the way everything was handled. i mean, if t.o. guy's staff had done their job, he wouldn't even have heard of me~!!

well, enough ranting for now^_^ esca, how is tv boy? were you able to comfort him at all^_-
and meta, thank you soooo much for the scan links~!!! i worship you and your amazing resources *hug* *bow*

Tuesday, October 9, 2001 09:18 p.m.

oh, esca! that guy is a creep~!! a few days ago he's asking about me, and now he wants to know what your parents would think about some relationship that exists in his head?
please think about this. he's probably got a totally different agenda than you. he's older than we are, might even be thinking of settling down or something.

and please, please don't think a kiss = a relationship. i've got friends who kiss new people every day and don't even know their names (granted, the guelph people i hang out with aren't the most average in the world, but still...).

you know i believe there's no-one there worthy of you, but don't dismiss what i'm saying. hot tub's creepy and moving *way* too fast~!! one "date" and he's talking about how your parents will take it???
not worthy and i *will* kill him.
have some fun. go out with people who see dating as something fun, not some binding contract. you know i vote for tv boy^___^
and i still have GOURD~!!!

and my life sucks now. i've written to ottawa with a bunch of ultimatums, and received really satisfying replies, but today ottawa guy emailed that he's sending my original email to t.o., and they'll work on it too, etc, etc.
i'm getting badly frustrated now. i felt like yelling at the people on the bus because they can't all get off in one place but keep stopping the bus on *every* goddamn stop. and my tutorial group annoys me because they just *have* to chitchat at the end of sessions instead of closing and letting me leave.
i know it's ridiculous. if there's no action this week i may just let this go for the sake of my health.

Wednesday, October 3, 2001 09:59 p.m.

breakdown today.
the incompetents in charge of my transfer to reg force are now responsible for 2 pointless trips to t.o., because every time they remember something else i need to have done before i can be processed.
this is a routine transfer! they do this everyday...i don't understand it.
today they told me the total opposite of what they told me 2 days ago. apparently i do have to turn in all my kit and get the *same fucking things* reissued in another place, which by the way is harder to get to than the one in t.o. and they tried to give me an appointment for 2 weeks from now.

i snapped. it was just too much frustration. i nearly cried, and threatened to call ottawa guy to force an appointment this friday, and then i said this whole thing isn't worth it. the little cpl in charge of my paperwork got frightened and ran to find a 'career counselor' or something. and ran right back, telling me they're all in a meeting and can't come out.
i really think that's what stopped me from total breakdown. the situation was too ridiculous.

i finally did get the appointment on friday, without ottawa guy's help. some sgt knew someone at the place, and they all acted like they did me the hugest favor. i didn't care anymore. i went home.

but at home, i really did start wondering it it's all worth it. financially and career-wise the decision is not advantageous in the long term. the main pro for me was intangible, in that i really loved the army and wanted to stay with it. i'm willing to make sacrifices. i'm familiar with bureaucratic fuckups and long waits.
this is different. this has gone far beyond anything i expected to experience, and i don't know if i want to be a part of that anymore. and once that pro goes, the situation becomes one giant con no sane person would touch with a ten-foot pole.

i'm calling ottawa guy tomorrow. spend the last hour making a detailed list of everything that's gone wrong since i started the transfer. i've even written down the ultimatums i'll use.
but what i really want is for him to give me a reason to want to continue. i feel betrayed.

Wednesday, October 3, 2001 12:54 a.m.

*sigh*
esca ,your program's not too bad. have you forgotten my complaints about mine? and i have 4 tutors to deal with weekly (ok, so the one with the voice i like^^).

i am trying to spread the joy of yaoi to fishy. she left with my gravitation eps and promised to watch them...when her mother's not home^___^

hehe. i have to leave the house in 5 hrs. i still need to pack. and shower. o yes - and *sleep*~!!!
i suck.

Sunday, September 30, 2001 10:27 p.m.

wheee~!!!
spend weekend with esca ~!! mooched endless anime off her. will now stop studying completely and devote myself to watching them.

damn. my sleep pattern is broken. i wish we had classes like normal school, ones i could skip or just show up to not needing to prep. stupid tutorials.
stupid metabolism. i wish metabolism would just go away...no wait...ukkkk...

Thursday, September 27, 2001 12:30 a.m.

and today our tutor mentioned the great drain on the system by geriatrics, and how a solution would be to cut off health care to anyone past a certain age. why, we'd save billions~!!!
isn't it great to be taught by someone who really *cares*?

fishy made me watch the star trek prequel. that t'pal has the weirdest bellybutton in the world - that revelation courtesy of this month's maxim^_^

esca, i got a ride! i'll be leaving here about 10am friday^^

Wednesday, September 26, 2001 12:00 a.m.

ooohhhh esca. thank you for the new layout~!!
i feel so inferior~!!!