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Thursday, December 13, 2001 03:04 a.m.
Head hurts. Should I sleep? Or should I make a last attempt to try to pass this term? I thought I was doing okay a few days ago... too bad, I found out that I can't rememeber anything from then....
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Wednesday, December 12, 2001 12:15 p.m.
It was horrid. HORRID!!!! T_T I've never seen such a nit-picky exam. Didn't even recognize..a third of the stuff. T_T Horrid!!!
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Wednesday, December 12, 2001 07:31 a.m.
1 1/2 hours until exam. *twitch twitch*
I can't study. I can't. I can't. Used to think that I knew what I studied... can't remember anything anymore... even the stuff I was sure I knew a couple of days ago.
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Tuesday, December 11, 2001 05:02 a.m.
I think I'm on the.... 7th? 8th? coffee of the day. =_= *watches as a finger spontaneously twitches*
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Monday, December 10, 2001 10:35 p.m.
Drugs are bad. Many drugs are even worse. Or so every note on every drug says. Scary that an average elderly takes at least 10 diff drugs a day.
I need pills...as Coanteen's always telling me.
Meta called today. Unfortunately, I was only half awake...or maybe even less. I would like to call...but I probably shouldn't. I do worry about her...but to be perfectly honest, i'm seriously freaking out about my exams in 1 1/2 days.... I'll call her after exams.... She'll be okay for a few more days, right? *hope hope* Aw.. what the heck. I'll just call. And just make it a short phone call....
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Monday, December 10, 2001 08:20 a.m.
Shit, it's cold. Brrrrrrrr......
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Monday, December 10, 2001 06:10 a.m.
Could I possibly study any slower? I suck. And I'm writing in my blog. Could I possibly suck any more?
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Monday, December 10, 2001 12:09 a.m.
Called mommy. Broke down and cried. T_T
Can't stand it. Can't stand it. Can't stand it. Can't stand it. Can't stand it. Can't stand it. Can't stand it. Can't stand it. Can't stand it. Can't stand it. Can't stand it. Can't stand it. Can't stand it. Can't stand it. Can't stand it. Can't stand it. Can't stand it. Can't stand it. Can't stand it. Can't stand it. Can't stand it. Can't stand it. Can't stand it. Can't stand it. Can't stand it. Can't stand it.
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Sunday, December 9, 2001 05:35 a.m.
Had the 3rd butter pecan tart of the night. It can't be healthy. But probably not any worse than the 5 cups of coffee (or was it more?) that I've drank. At least, they weren't strong. On top of the daily cappuccino from Tim Horton's, the large jar of instant coffee that I bought a couple of weeks ago is now a third empty. Sugar and caffein. I'd be so dead without them.
Studying is progressing at a slow rate... It's somewhat worrysome. I wanted a couple of days to go over everything. Reading the material once is probably not enough for the exam.
Another cup of coffee.....
Talked to mommy today. She said that I can take a year off school. Probably next winter...before clerkship starts. So that I get to attend all the lectures with my present classmates (I hate switching classes...). That'll give me some time to study the licensing exam. She said I can go to Korea and listen to completely un-medical-related lectures. Broaden my horizons.. travel. Draw anime. I have a feeling that if I don't do this during school... I'll be 31 before I can take time off. And probably not even then...for I'd probably be married...
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Sunday, December 9, 2001 01:21 a.m.
Funky brain lesion...where you can't read but can write!!! Kyaaahhh!!! Cute!!!!!
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Saturday, December 8, 2001 09:11 p.m.
Aaaaaaarrrggghhhh!!!!! I can't stand it!!!!!!!!!!!
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Saturday, December 8, 2001 05:53 p.m.
Get up. Eat. Drink coffee. Blog. Study. Eat. Drink coffee. Blog. Study. Eat. Drink coffee. Blog. Study. Sleep. Get up. Eat. Drink Coffee. Blog. Study.
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Saturday, December 8, 2001 06:57 a.m.
Studied really hard... Need more food. Need more caffein. Studying a couple more hours before going to bed would be good. That'd make it...about 8 hours that I studied pretty hard. Why is it that the last 3 days of neuro has a half inch thick set of notes?
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Saturday, December 8, 2001 02:51 a.m.
More frozen dinners... It's not bad. Cold in the apt... Kinda sad without a reason. Feel a bit stupid. Eyes hurt. If I wasn't feeling so mentally numb, I'd be panicking...
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Friday, December 7, 2001 11:19 p.m.
Haven't stepped out of the apt at all today. Microwaving frozen dinner....
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Friday, December 7, 2001 05:46 p.m.
I was trying to find alternatives for screentones... and trying to scan them in and print them so i don't use them up. And then... I looked at my pile of screentones..and thought, "there's no way I'm gonna use up this whole pile. Why don't I just...use them? -_-;;;; I mean, the whole purpose of going on a shopping frenzy at the tone place in Korea was just so that I wouldn't be wasting precious hours doing things like... scanning and reprinting screentones. -_-;;;; I'm sure if I spend another hour studying instead of doing such stuff, the difference it'll make in my future income will be enough to buy thousands of the most expensive screentones. So *why* am I doing this? Probably because i would be wasting my time some other way if I wasn't... T_T
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Wednesday, December 5, 2001 06:11 p.m.
Drew another one page short doujinshi. Rurouni Kenshin this time. I'm kinda afraid to show it to Meta or Coanteen...as it's probably sicker than the Shaman King one. -_-;;;;;;
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Tuesday, December 4, 2001 03:29 p.m.
Humans Are Different From Rabbits.
Watched surgeries for the first time today. Watched two. Almost passed out. -_-;;;;
Watching the doc cut up a live human was definitely different from cutting up live rabbit in undergrad. When we were cutting up the rabbit, it's muscles didn't twitch. -_-;; True, that could have been because we weren't too worried if the rabbit died from the anaesthetics, so we OD'ed it...which kinda led us to perform artificial respiration on the rabbit. But the rabbit was more flaccid than the person, I remember.
Plus the rabbit had tiny carotid arteries. It was *not* as thick as my pinky finger...and feeling the pulse on a bared carotid artery of a human...was... different. And when we were dissecting the rabbit, we weren't wearing surgical masks that makes you feel suffocated. We weren't using cauterizing equipment that leaves the smell of burning flesh in the air. And the doc comments: "Smells like a barbecue, doesn't it?"
At least I didn't actually faint. I started to feel dizzy and I told them I wasn't feeling well.. after... about 3 hours of watching... I think it was the smell of burning flesh that got to me. I was standing pretty close. And I started to walk back from the operating table...and the world got darker...and darker...and darker. Fortunately, by that time, a nurse had made me sit outside and brought me a wet cloth. My hands felt really funny too... like they'd gone to sleep.
I guess getting up at 10 pm last night and staying up all night with lots of coffee didn't help either. T_T But I'm gonna go back for more observerships. I still wanna be a surgeon and I'm masochistic enough to go back. Just...not until after exams..and after the holidays. I'm not *quite* that masochistic. T_T
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Tuesday, December 4, 2001 05:02 a.m.
Wow. I'm really impressed at how UNproductive I can be. ^^;;; It was a real chore to go and have lunch for 45 minutes with my mentors.. Yeah. So hard, ne? And it was ALL I did yesterday..or today..or whatever it was. And I slept for 8 hours exhausted afterwards. So maybe it *was* yesterday. I feel so screwed up. =_= Of course, coffee is helping. Ah, coffee. How will I live without it?
I did layouts for some more douji stuff. But I think I might be getting it printed...either in "Shounen Hump" (that's the yaoi con doujinshi) next year. Or get it printed with Erieri-san. So I guess I won't post it quite yet. Maybe I'll draw it and send it to Meta or Coanteen.. Or maybe I won't draw it. The latter would be a wiser thing to do at the moment. *glares at the pile of neurology notes sitting on the desk*
It is late in the night. Or ealy in the morning. I feel... 'nareunhae'. That's the only way to describe it. I can't find the words in English.
I didn't know it was December 4th already. 8 days until the exams. After tomorrow, I will not have to step a foot out of my apt except for occasional feeding.... so I guess that's alright. I remember last year, I made myself take 10 minute walks every day through the snow during the exam week. Has not really snowed yet this year, strangely enough.
Tomorrow.. well.. in 3 hours, life is gonna be very hard. For about 8 hours. So I will let myself relax until then. Good excuse? Mmmmm....
Listening to... some old song, I think. "I gotta get drunk before the day begins.." or so the lyrics go. I agree completely. If only I could. Although, that is a sure sign of an alcoholic.
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Monday, December 3, 2001 05:17 a.m.
I kept the promise that I wouldn't draw...for all of ONE day. T_T Today was... *sigh~~~~~* Instead of studying, I drew a Shaman King doujinshi. Since I am too lazy to update my site, I'll just post it here for now... T_T
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Sunday, December 2, 2001 11:21 p.m.
Eh. Perhaps I've gone a little too far back to my undergrad days. Watching clips from Jaejin's birthday party..which I guess I could have gone to if things turned out well in Korea. T_T But still.. I get to watch clips. Just watched the birthday messages from each of previous Jekki members. It's kinda funny. To summarize.. (my nicknames for them in brackets... in case Coanteen is reading this...)
Jiwon (the leader/the husband): Happy birthday. (in a very respectful tone of voice. -_-;;;)
Jiyong (the mistress): Call me after the birthday party and we'll go drinking.
Hoonie (the wife): I can't be there that day... but I'll become successful and buy you a drink at a really nice place. ^____^
Suwon and Dukkie: *they're working together in a dance studio..so they appear on screen with Dukkie hugging Suwon from the back...*
Suwon: Happy birthday. ^___^ As for the birthday present... you'll have to come here to get it.
Dukkie: As for the birthday present, *pushing Suwon fwd* I give you Suwonie. Of course, Suwon is mine. But I'll lend him to you for one day.
^^;;; Aaahhh... I guess other than Jiwon, the rest of Jekki members are... well on their way to corrution.
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Sunday, December 2, 2001 10:14 p.m.
It seems like I've been up for a very long time. So what have I been doing? Oh, yeah... I watche 7 episodes of Houshin Engi and watched a whole bunch of Korean music vids on internet. -_-;; I got to watch... Hoonie's music vid and Jaejin's. And Jiwon's. ^^ I like the Hoonie's. But was that him making an appearance for 2 seconds with the dog? -_-;;; Very strange music vid. The story was kinda... typical...but they made it fairly well. And it was pretty. And of course, the song was exceptional. The lyrics were very very sad... So he's dead. And he's singing to the girl that he's happy she's found a new love. T_T Oh, so sad. And Jaejin looked quite pretty with long hair.. Ooooh. I think he looks better by himself. Or.. he looks more comfortable and relaxed, anyway.
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Sunday, December 2, 2001 04:06 a.m.
Studied really hard some more. It's a bit discouraging to think that...at this speed, I'll have to study at least 6 more hours to finish what I planned to do today. I guess that makes sense since I only really studied hard for 3 hours or so. T_T 9 hours of studying a day without any other work sounds about right... I will NOT give up...yet. Oooh. I'm so hungry. And I ate only a couple of hours ago.....
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Sunday, December 2, 2001 02:47 a.m.
I was actually studying pretty hard...for about an hour and a half. Not very long, I know. But I feel totally alert now and I feel really good. The kinda feeling I get when I'm really concentrating and I forget that I'm tired... ^___^ Feel like I haven't been like that since undergrad.
Looked up a word in med dictionary. The explanation is harder to interpret than the word... T_T It says... "ptosis, miosis, and anhidrosis on the side of asympathetic palsy. The enophtalmos is more apparent than real." WTF is that supposed to mean? --;;;; Ah. Whatever....
Coanteen's blog layout's been giving me some pain, but I've fixed everything. So it's all good...or so I hope at least. It's difficult doing html blindly without any real knowledge...^^;; But it's worked so far.
Yummy called today. That's my friend the frosh who is now a 3rd year student. -_-;;; I sent her a Kenshin music vid and she was a complete screaming fangirl. ^^;;; It was so cute. She keeps sending me all these poetic e-mails about love and how saying you love people is a very nice thing, etc... influenced by some Korean soap operas she's been watching. ^^;;;; It's true that a lot of Korean soap operas are really good. Much better than the western ones, I think. And they generally have a plot and end within a year or less. Of course, I didn't reply to her emails...for like a month. (Coanteen, you're not the only one whose emails I ignore..-_-;;;) But when I talked to her today, she was telling me that she was worried that I had slipped on a banana peel and hit my head...and died or something. And probably rotting in my apt where no one visits... ^^;;;;
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Saturday, December 1, 2001 09:11 p.m.
Oi. =___= Went on a cleaning frenzy. Another hour gone. But the floor has been scrubbed and all the dishes are clean. If only I could clean out the junk in my brain as easily as I can clean my apartment.
Have an urge to draw Fluffy-sama lighting fire on the upside down inu...but I shall resist the urge. No more pics until exams are over. Not that I've stopped procrastinating....
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Saturday, December 1, 2001 04:37 p.m.
Talking on the phone with Coanteen and nagging her to archive... ^^;;;;;
Procrastination. It is good.
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